Post by ashes on Nov 18, 2010 21:20:01 GMT -5
Princess Leia Organa
Goodness Gracious I had no where to go? Probably kind of obvious why I didn't since of all my scars. Falling off a cliff gave me them but I was lucky that they were pretty much invisible. You might say how are they invisible? Well You can't see it but you could feel it. Instead of it being a marking it had turned to little bumps hardly noticible. They were still their but at least I didn't have to worry about anyone noticing. It still kind of bothered me though since their was one big scar on my face that is a little noticible. Concidering that it probably makes me ugly I don't blame stallions for not liking me. Being ugly was something I had to deal with alone. It wasn't like anyone cared for me why would they? I was probably considered a stupid mare ask anyone? I probably was correct on what exactly I was saying. Didn't really matter though my life was all screwed up. You might wonder why my life was all screwed up but I won't tell you. It was kind of personal for me and didn't feel like telling anyone.
what Really annoyed me was how some could be so nosy. It honestly didn't make any sense. They could be so stupid somehow thinking they can just barge in your life. It's alright if you want to get to know them but you really have to stop with the personal questions. This was just my point of view of the world though. I wouldn't be surprised if I was wrong a hundred percent of the time. I guess being wrong was just my thing kind of lame though. I wasn't about to complain though that would make me look like a wimp. No one wants to be a wimp and those who do are plainly stupid. No offense to them I don't usually think so poorly of others. I guess this was just my view point and everyone would have to accept it. Like anyone could my view of the world is quite odd. Haha I don't think that would be funny to anyone but it was to me. Has anyone noticed that life is so predictable? Well In my View life isn't very predictable in a weird way. Maybe you will have good luck then it turns to bad luck.
Yes that can be Predictable I would have to admit. Wasn't everything predictable or was it Not? Questions everyday I asked to myself. I guess it comes from having a tad bit of memory loss. It wasn't that bad though it wasn't like I needed someone to remind me constantly. Now that would be kind of embarressing having someone help you remember things. I didn't need that though I had gotten lucky. Falling off a cliff would usually give you memory loss but I could remember my past. I just couldn't remember my name which was the worst part. I felt quite stupid not being able to remember my stupid name. Why did we have to have names? Why couldn't we be called by numbers. Well I think we'd eventually run out of numbers so it made sense then. Why couldn't we be the Alphabet with two letters like Ae. Okay maybe I didn't make any sense their but who really cared what I thought. Maybe I was Insane or crazy or whatever I just would like to be placed somewhere in this world.
I didn't feel like I belonged which wasn't a good thing. In this world you better find where you belong quick or you're dead. Depressing as it seemed I really didn't care if I belonged or not. It would be nice if I did but I guess it really didn't matter. Life didn't seem to care about me. Maybe I was an outsider? Wouldn't that be cool being a outsider having nowhere to go. I actually don't know if it will be fun or miserable. Well who cares because one day I will find someone who will love me. Someone that will never stop loving me if I could find someone. They would never abandon me and they would be patient with my moods. They would tell me every day that they loved me. This was something I longed for If I could just find someone to love me. Life would be perfect then and maybe work on not being to happy and just being normal. I got told once I was to happy and I took it down to heart. You might think Who would do such a thing but I actually thanked them for it.
Maybe being myself wasn't a good thing but no one could stop me. It was my own mind so I could say what I wanted to and Do what I wanted. It wasn't like someone would stop me anyways I probably disgusted them to much. I wonder why Life had to be so cruel to you at certain points. Or maybe life didn't know about me and left me to suffer. Or possibly everyone wanted to be mean to me like my mother for instance. The way she had treated me was mean and uncalled for. I will never forget what happened when I had lived with her. No one would be able to imagine of all the pain I went through. Who knows why I stuck around I just did. It only seemed natural to be by her even though she hurt me. I can remember the brutal beatings she gave me. Telling you how vulnerable foals were and how easily they could break. It was simple one kick in the ribs and two or three ribs could break. It was just that simple and exactly what had happened to me.
Sad as it was I had to live with it. My Mother loved to hurt me for some reason. It was unknown why but I will never forget what she had done to me. I guess it was something you could never forget but I knew some day the pain would get better. What was also sad was that I never got to meet my Father. I guess it can be understood that I never would. I was a hopeless mare with probably no future in this world. I couldn't call that a surprise I always knew I was hopeless. I didn't know anyone who would tell me that I was pretty or smart. My Mother probably would have killed them if she heard them tell me this. Like that one day when a friend of mine from a nearby herd called me Pretty she had killed him. It still made me sad thinking about him I wish I could see him once again. To see his High posture as he looked me over in Pride. I would seriously give anything to see him again just once more. Stupid mothers who hated their very own daughters.
I was calling my mother stupid and I didn't even feel ashamed about it. Why Should I? She was that practically nearly killed me but I somehow survived. If anyone thought I would change my mind they must be insane. The reason why I was here in the abode was because I Needed a home. Yes a stupid home that I didn't even know if I needed. Well who cares since I'll likely find no one who will love me anyways. I for some stupid reason was exploring a land I did not know of. I didn't really care what happened to me now it didn't really matter.
what Really annoyed me was how some could be so nosy. It honestly didn't make any sense. They could be so stupid somehow thinking they can just barge in your life. It's alright if you want to get to know them but you really have to stop with the personal questions. This was just my point of view of the world though. I wouldn't be surprised if I was wrong a hundred percent of the time. I guess being wrong was just my thing kind of lame though. I wasn't about to complain though that would make me look like a wimp. No one wants to be a wimp and those who do are plainly stupid. No offense to them I don't usually think so poorly of others. I guess this was just my view point and everyone would have to accept it. Like anyone could my view of the world is quite odd. Haha I don't think that would be funny to anyone but it was to me. Has anyone noticed that life is so predictable? Well In my View life isn't very predictable in a weird way. Maybe you will have good luck then it turns to bad luck.
Yes that can be Predictable I would have to admit. Wasn't everything predictable or was it Not? Questions everyday I asked to myself. I guess it comes from having a tad bit of memory loss. It wasn't that bad though it wasn't like I needed someone to remind me constantly. Now that would be kind of embarressing having someone help you remember things. I didn't need that though I had gotten lucky. Falling off a cliff would usually give you memory loss but I could remember my past. I just couldn't remember my name which was the worst part. I felt quite stupid not being able to remember my stupid name. Why did we have to have names? Why couldn't we be called by numbers. Well I think we'd eventually run out of numbers so it made sense then. Why couldn't we be the Alphabet with two letters like Ae. Okay maybe I didn't make any sense their but who really cared what I thought. Maybe I was Insane or crazy or whatever I just would like to be placed somewhere in this world.
I didn't feel like I belonged which wasn't a good thing. In this world you better find where you belong quick or you're dead. Depressing as it seemed I really didn't care if I belonged or not. It would be nice if I did but I guess it really didn't matter. Life didn't seem to care about me. Maybe I was an outsider? Wouldn't that be cool being a outsider having nowhere to go. I actually don't know if it will be fun or miserable. Well who cares because one day I will find someone who will love me. Someone that will never stop loving me if I could find someone. They would never abandon me and they would be patient with my moods. They would tell me every day that they loved me. This was something I longed for If I could just find someone to love me. Life would be perfect then and maybe work on not being to happy and just being normal. I got told once I was to happy and I took it down to heart. You might think Who would do such a thing but I actually thanked them for it.
Maybe being myself wasn't a good thing but no one could stop me. It was my own mind so I could say what I wanted to and Do what I wanted. It wasn't like someone would stop me anyways I probably disgusted them to much. I wonder why Life had to be so cruel to you at certain points. Or maybe life didn't know about me and left me to suffer. Or possibly everyone wanted to be mean to me like my mother for instance. The way she had treated me was mean and uncalled for. I will never forget what happened when I had lived with her. No one would be able to imagine of all the pain I went through. Who knows why I stuck around I just did. It only seemed natural to be by her even though she hurt me. I can remember the brutal beatings she gave me. Telling you how vulnerable foals were and how easily they could break. It was simple one kick in the ribs and two or three ribs could break. It was just that simple and exactly what had happened to me.
Sad as it was I had to live with it. My Mother loved to hurt me for some reason. It was unknown why but I will never forget what she had done to me. I guess it was something you could never forget but I knew some day the pain would get better. What was also sad was that I never got to meet my Father. I guess it can be understood that I never would. I was a hopeless mare with probably no future in this world. I couldn't call that a surprise I always knew I was hopeless. I didn't know anyone who would tell me that I was pretty or smart. My Mother probably would have killed them if she heard them tell me this. Like that one day when a friend of mine from a nearby herd called me Pretty she had killed him. It still made me sad thinking about him I wish I could see him once again. To see his High posture as he looked me over in Pride. I would seriously give anything to see him again just once more. Stupid mothers who hated their very own daughters.
I was calling my mother stupid and I didn't even feel ashamed about it. Why Should I? She was that practically nearly killed me but I somehow survived. If anyone thought I would change my mind they must be insane. The reason why I was here in the abode was because I Needed a home. Yes a stupid home that I didn't even know if I needed. Well who cares since I'll likely find no one who will love me anyways. I for some stupid reason was exploring a land I did not know of. I didn't really care what happened to me now it didn't really matter.